Mother and Daughter
There have been many words written about the relationship between a mother and daughter. And I know my feelings and perspective have been logged many times over; however, I would be remiss not to sure my story.
My daughter shared her rough draft of her statement for college. She wrote beautifully. She wrote her truth from her heart. What did this do for me?
It hit my chest like a ton of bricks! Short of breath, chest pain, the whole nine yards. To see in the written word, the pain that you have caused to the person you would give your life to protect is gut-wrenching.
Extreme Love between a Mother and Daughter
Amid my agony, I also had a sense of extreme love for this beautiful young woman expressing her pain and her courage to share it with her father and her mother.
What I read was about a mom who was not yet awake. You see, my daughter witnessed my waking up as a woman and a mom. Before awakening, I was wrapped up in providing for my family and my patients, unable to see the true beauty of my family before me.
The present didn’t exist for me at that time in my life. I was always “rushing” to get the kids fed, to do laundry, to do my medical charts. The list was endless. I didn’t have the support I needed, so my parenting was many times impatient, frustrated, and overwhelming.
It took my life falling apart to awaken me. My daughter witnessed this and suffered as I did through that tumultuous time. Her words in her statement revealed her pain and reminded me of the pain I went through.
Now I’m on the other side. I walked through the fire. Forced to look at myself, I chose to grow up and awaken. I can say I’m a much better person and mother.
I now see my kids as my teachers. They have taught me patience and unconditional love. My daughter has taught me how giving up control and providing space allows the soul freedom. She taught me how listening and acceptance is the key to feeling safe, understood, and heard.
I have apologized to my daughter for failing her. She is working on forgiveness, and I am working on forgiving myself. In that forgiveness, we are beginning to forge a new path and a new relationship. I now support her in ways I never could before. I see her path as her own. I can recognize my reactions, my fears that are triggered by my daughter, and I’m able to pause and reset from a place of love.
